http://www.widowconnection.com/index.htmlNew Beginningsenmiriam@widowconnection.com20112011-08-29T21:18:56-05:00 hourly 1 2000-01-01T12:00+00:00 Fri, 10 Dec 2010 12:05:37 -0600miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-29T21:18:56-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/1afd87bc7f1a96bf4db5969acd6b782b-131.html#unique-entry-id-131http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/1afd87bc7f1a96bf4db5969acd6b782b-131.html#unique-entry-id-131Do you want to be the exception to the rule? I do.
“God, this looks bad,” I whine. “This situation will crash. Get me out of it. Push the eject button, Lord.”
Maybe your finances look like sure bankruptcy ahead.
You marriage may be on the rocks.
Your child, young or adult may be a relational challenge and making unthinkable decisions.
We want to be the exception to the rule. The one who survives, whose marriage moves forward, who lands on our feet financially.
That’s a possibility. Naman, a Syrian, was the example in Scripture. Elisha healed him of leprosy, an incurable disease. An exception to his prognosis.
Can I promise that you’ll be the exception? No.
But I highly recommend that you plead with God for His wisdom and His answers
Start early, pray often, and watch with faith.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-26T19:38:32-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/a98a6ab32d7d06bbed988aef41699668-130.html#unique-entry-id-130http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/a98a6ab32d7d06bbed988aef41699668-130.html#unique-entry-id-130August means back to school. Some students are thrilled that the boring days of summer are over and they have a regular venue to connect with friends.

Others drag reluctantly through the crowded isles of school supplies at Walmart and plot ways to make school more exciting--like pestering teachers, stretching the rules, and finding new ways to barely get by.

Every parent needs to be vigilant regarding their school. There are always new rules and new policies. One school has instituted a ‘no hugs and no high fives’ policy. Yes, one girl was suspended for hugging her friend!

Take advantage of every way to connect with your school. Attend open houses, email teachers, read the online behavior policy. And, if your child has little to say, invite his or her friends over. You’ll learn much just listening.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-24T11:21:44-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/6af9482b03c70b97c746003f7316d9e4-129.html#unique-entry-id-129http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/6af9482b03c70b97c746003f7316d9e4-129.html#unique-entry-id-129Our dictionary needs to be rewritten. Words in my childhood vocabulary have morphed into new meanings.

Spiders are a complex stock market commodity mirroring a designated category, an investment opportunity.
An apple is a hot, gotta have it computer. Owning one and loving it makes one a special kind of geek.
A virus is an unseen pacman in your computer gobbling up your prized savings.
There’s nothing wrong with new definitions and new stuff. The challenge increases however, with the urge that we have to own more and attend more to the upkeep of our stuff.

Would you like to put all this in perspective? Save up your dollars, travel to a third world country, and volunteer in a church.

You may not have a new vocabulary, but you’ll have a renewed heart.



Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-25T11:15:37-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/f6c9a3e97d7dcb2308bb8ca7141d652f-128.html#unique-entry-id-128http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/f6c9a3e97d7dcb2308bb8ca7141d652f-128.html#unique-entry-id-128My power is out for the third day. Being on well and septic means no water either. This has proved to be a God moment, a time for my Creator to refocus from my normal tendency to be annoyed, to His direction to give thanks in all things and at all times.

Just days before I walked through the Mathare Valley where one half million people live without bathrooms, electricity (if available to costly) water available in their homes, and any means to control the temperature where they live. Interviewing widows in their homes there, I discovered many had lived with those circumstances for decades. They have little hope of change--apart from a dramatic outside intervention.

My response? Kneel and thank God for his faithful reminder this is a good day--without power.



Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-23T17:57:56-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/12c8939c0407a872decf7530e5c2c61d-126.html#unique-entry-id-126http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/12c8939c0407a872decf7530e5c2c61d-126.html#unique-entry-id-126My new email friend was leaving for Burma to help widows there. She asked, what should she bring? Her funds were limited. I suggested going to a Goodwill outlet where useable products are available for a few dollars. Spending $26.00 she had parts for three bicycles simply by adding a few items from a repair shop.

She emailed the delight of seeing the orphans of these widows assembling these bicycles!

Lacking large sums of money, there is still much good one can do with a little imagination, putting your shoulder to the project, and prayer for God to multiple the outcome as only He can.

Is easy to get caught up in the ‘it has to be something big’ syndrome. Few of us will start large organizations to impact widows and orphans. Few of us will launch megachurches. But all of us can Just Do Something.

Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-22T15:15:56-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/2a8309e3703f81aa93bc7a5190138dc6-125.html#unique-entry-id-125http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/2a8309e3703f81aa93bc7a5190138dc6-125.html#unique-entry-id-125Sometimes simple sayings inspire us to move from neutral to forward progress. My simple saying is JDS: Just Do Something.

I can’t provide hope for all the widows in Africa. But our ministry can train some as tailors. I recently attended the graduation of our first class in Mozambique. Women who shrugged in their chairs looking at me with doubt when I first explained the program have changed dramatically. They stand with their shoulders back. And they have plans for the future and their income. One priority is to repair their homes.

I visited their homes, saw the sagging thatch roofs and deteriorating reed walls. There are so many more. I yearn to start another project. But for the moment, I’m thankful. JDS. Just Do Something. Small beginning. But for those graduates, a large, fresh, new start.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-19T15:15:25-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/31fc9f74c5d9ad851dc1482193b18c9a-124.html#unique-entry-id-124http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/31fc9f74c5d9ad851dc1482193b18c9a-124.html#unique-entry-id-124Pride is a big deal to God. Proverbs 16:5 has these strong words, “the Lord detests all the proud of heart.” Given how important pride is to God, we do well to examine ourselves regularly. It creeps naturally into our humanoid hearts. Here are J. Oswald Sanders test questions for examining ourselves:

How do we react when someone else is selected for honor, praise, or position?

In our honest ‘face in the mirror’ moments, do we admit problems and weaknesses?

Do we resent criticism or weigh its validity without self defense?

And how do we respond to praise? With a puffed up chest? Or with humble acknowledgement that God made us, and gives us everything we’ve got.

Remember, the only one deserving praise is God himself.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-18T15:14:52-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/1cfc386bb7bd0d37fbc288e861f4ab98-123.html#unique-entry-id-123http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/1cfc386bb7bd0d37fbc288e861f4ab98-123.html#unique-entry-id-123Final failure: there’s no such thing. Unless you deny Jesus with your last breath. Onlookers watching Saul punish and abuse Christ followers would never imagine that there was Kingdom hope for him. Peter must have been captivated by Jesus’ intense gaze after Peter denied he even knew his friend. He must have thought his faith walk was over. Peter denied his three year traveling companion, the person he vowed to back for ever. Surely that was Peter’s last chance, his final failure. Or consider Moses’ future leadership possibilities after his second murder? Certainly he was disqualified from being leader, judge, and example for an entire nation.

Scripture is punctuated by those who failed in small and gargantuan ways. Yet God’s heart for forgiveness dwarfs any sin, no matter its magnitude.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-17T15:14:22-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/7640226564af3e2fb0fe16d89b6f37c5-122.html#unique-entry-id-122http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/7640226564af3e2fb0fe16d89b6f37c5-122.html#unique-entry-id-122Hudson Taylor, the founder of China Inland Mission faced crushing obstacles throughout his life and ministry. He defined three phases of any great task undertaken for God: Impossible, Difficult, and Done.

Our first sewing project in Mozambique began with challenges I never imagined. With committed partners and God’s steady intervention, training progressed. Widows worked hard and would not give up. They learned to sew. Attending the graduation the myriads of frustration disappeared. The impossible beginning was now a resounding, DONE. Difficult absolutely. One of our graduates can neither read nor write. But she’s now a certified tailor.

Seeing these graduates pleasure at the added gift of their own machine was celebrated Africa style: singing and dancing. From impossible, to difficult, now done.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-16T15:13:46-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/25f23c517becbe4085be1d22ba08266b-121.html#unique-entry-id-121http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/25f23c517becbe4085be1d22ba08266b-121.html#unique-entry-id-121Scope creep keeps us from excellence. We start doing a good thing. And then we’re called on to do one more thing. There’s no one else, apparently, available for the task. And it needs to happen.

Soon we’re spread too thin, fatigued. We were fired up, now we’re burned out. What happened? One simple phrase prevents scope creep from taking us down, tells us how to get it right. “This one thing I do.” Paul knew what his assignment was and what it was not. Jesus could say, “it is finished’ not because all earths problems were solved, but because his task was done.

What’s yours, my friend? Don’t let scope creep keep you from doing the one thing you are called to do.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-15T11:20:55-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/7d76bbd1c43c112447a09cc6834839c9-120.html#unique-entry-id-120http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/7d76bbd1c43c112447a09cc6834839c9-120.html#unique-entry-id-120Any ministry focused on helping the poor has endless opportunity. With our mission to help widows we serve a small niche. In Africa we train them to sew on Singer treadle machines. I’ve been approached to help dig wells, expand our program to married women and men, and myriads of opportunities and needs beyond listing. While considering options I heard the phrase, scope creep.

We start with a goal. The target broadens. Wells and training for all are good things. I applaud whoever does these good deeds. But I politely decline to focus on widows. Scope creep could deplete our limited resources to help widows, divert our attention from an often invisible group as we expand and improve our projects.

Its not our work, it’s God’s. And He’s keeping us focused on His assignment.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-12T11:20:28-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/f1d749d4fcb8af1621f8c41d6a7f17ff-119.html#unique-entry-id-119http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/f1d749d4fcb8af1621f8c41d6a7f17ff-119.html#unique-entry-id-119Do you need help? Whether picking a volunteer or an employee selecting the right person for your purposes is vital. The success of your company, your church, or your personal circumstances are worth making a careful pick. Scripture offers us great advice in Acts 6. The new church was growing rapidly. Responsibilities were mushrooming including the feeding of the widows. Apparently discrimination was impacting the program.

Church leaders gathered to pick additional leaders to oversee the program. What qualifications were needed? We might say people who can count plates, people who can keep records, people with experience in supervision.

None of these topped the list. There were two simple criteria: good standing, and full of the Spirit and understanding. With those qualifications the task will be accomplished.

Good advice for us all.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-11T11:19:58-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/59b59ad2effd6f914715e3f3ff969b44-118.html#unique-entry-id-118http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/59b59ad2effd6f914715e3f3ff969b44-118.html#unique-entry-id-118Summer time usually means time to choose. Vacation from work, school break, more emails pop back that ‘out of the office’ reply. J. Oswald Sanders states that “leisure is a glorious opportunity and a subtle danger.” How did you spend, in other words, invest, your leisure hours? Jesus had time to hike in the wilderness alone with his Father. I’ve spent extra morning time on the front porch with all my favorite reads and just time to think. Family has enjoyed the great outdoors, bike riding sunsets in South Africa and moonlit nights in Kenya.

Summer time is a good time to remember that God created seasons with a reason. All beauty, all change, all months, days, and even minutes are His gift to us.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-10T11:18:24-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/ea8bd27dd5f80362de0251ff32acf898-117.html#unique-entry-id-117http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/ea8bd27dd5f80362de0251ff32acf898-117.html#unique-entry-id-117Chicago is my home. I’m not always proud of it. In my routine travels to Africa, my home town is usually a source of interesting conversation. Being interviewed on African radio in 2009 about my widow projects, I was also asked about Obama and also our, then governor, Blagoyovich. Recently, I landed in South Africa to see our first lady and her mother pictured on the front page of the The New Age, their popular news paper.

Lesson: Someone is always watching! Why do our politicians behave like they do? Do you agree? What are you doing about it? My best answer: I pray for my leaders. They may or may not answer to the people, but surely one day they will answer to God.

Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-09T11:17:20-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/d5e293eca62e3d33e982b9921d736af1-116.html#unique-entry-id-116http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/d5e293eca62e3d33e982b9921d736af1-116.html#unique-entry-id-116Poverty stepped into my face when I stepped into the Mathare Valley, probably one of the world’s poorest slums with one half million people crowded into shanty’s in the valley of Nairobi, Kenya. The smell from no way to dispose of human or animal waste. The unfathomable, stare of the young men, the masked gaze of the young women. The pungent riverside smell of brewing illegal, sometimes lethal alcohol. All imprinted me with the face of poverty I had never experienced before.

To attempt to create a solution is beyond pondering. But as a believer, inaction is inexcusable.

So I resolve to help a handful of widows learn the salable skill of sewing. Big difference in the Mathare Valley? Not at all. But in one household. Yes, we’ll make a difference.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-08T14:31:06-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/f22ca4602b8130d5e74549eb751af80e-115.html#unique-entry-id-115http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/f22ca4602b8130d5e74549eb751af80e-115.html#unique-entry-id-115We love compliments. We savor words of praise. Great job. Great effort. Skillfully negotiated. One would think compliments build us up. But there’s a danger. Proverbs 27: 21 reminds us that a person is tested by being praised. Examples in Scripture clearly show us that success can breed pride. Accomplishments can be claimed as our own doing ignoring that we are only what God has created us to be. We only achieve what he allows us to achieve.

The late Robert Little, who was the radio pastor of Moody Broadcasting at one time, avoided hearing compliments and avoided any praise when He could. He felt that would diminish his rewards in Heaven. That’s where he yearned to hear the praise that matters most. “Well done; you’re home.”


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-05T14:30:39-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/6b953974fae79728a6eba8765f3c3d96-114.html#unique-entry-id-114http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/6b953974fae79728a6eba8765f3c3d96-114.html#unique-entry-id-114Loss wraps its fingers around our budget, stomach, our heart, and the warmth of our bodies in winter, and coolness in summer. We’re different. We whine and complain about our loss of income, financial equity, and the comforts we had when we had more.

Yes, loss means less, but that’s not always a bad thing. Less ‘stuff’ means less to worry about, keep up, protect and manage. It means time to do something else that’s not ‘stuff’ focused.

Look around more closely at the people around you. You’ll see others that were invisible to you before. Others shopping in the resale shop, others at the food pantry. We have a new appreciation of Jesus’ prayer he taught us. “Give us this day our daily bread.” That’s the only thing he told us to ask for.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-04T14:29:52-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/67838127b524b941e4275fe714c368d4-113.html#unique-entry-id-113http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/67838127b524b941e4275fe714c368d4-113.html#unique-entry-id-113A wild storm has changed my plans. Power out, darkness in, no internet means no speed writing, no email, no research. God sees these slices of life in our life’s journey and they don’t surprise Him. He creates a new way around temptation, through that trial that we could not see in those first moments of darkness.

What can we learn from these storms that take our our power--what we depend on?

Pause in the darkness and let our senses adjust. When storms hit, we can’t pretend that life is the same as before. Adjusting to the new reality is a beginning.

Remember that God’s adequacy is not limited by the past or even our perception of the moment. He’s ready to equip us for this slice of life.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-03T14:29:20-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/e6209c8c4f4f4e938b07d9eb64ad4888-112.html#unique-entry-id-112http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/e6209c8c4f4f4e938b07d9eb64ad4888-112.html#unique-entry-id-112In the Maasai village in Kenya, my grandson was conscripted into the tribe of warriors. Wrapped in their traditional fabric and ladened down with beaded belts, leg and arm bracelets, and necklaces, he looked combat ready. One part of the ‘gear’ seemed a bit out of place. He was wearing sandals made of strips of old rubber tires. The tribe had abandoned bare feet for this recycled phenomenon. They were quite comfortable and certainly road worthy.

I doubt the tribe was recycling tires to preserve the planet. They’d simply found a practical and affordable solution to bare feet.

God has a solution for every need we humans have on this planet. And I think he’s smiling at sandals made of old rubber tires.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-02T14:28:51-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/7d28ba5a538e4b6c749fa921864c7484-111.html#unique-entry-id-111http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/7d28ba5a538e4b6c749fa921864c7484-111.html#unique-entry-id-111Our family trudged through the Mathare Valley, the large slum of Nairobi, Kenya. Home to a half million people, each 6 X 8 foot shanty typically houses 5 people. Most heads of households are women, often widows supporting children and grandchildren. If you had walked behind me--we could only walk single file due to the narrow paths--you would have been appalled at the poverty. Two pans and a dent in the floor for a fire are the kitchen. A table, a sagging couch, and a mat for sleeping are the assets.

Yet, I was welcomed in each home, greeted with a genuine smile. Each woman possessed a strength and determination to spend her life for the benefit of her children. Her purpose was clear. If measured by courage, these women are wealthy.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-08-01T14:28:19-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/fb99360c48081ee444b9906cb2757b9e-110.html#unique-entry-id-110http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/fb99360c48081ee444b9906cb2757b9e-110.html#unique-entry-id-110News from Washington has not changed. After three weeks unplugged from the news, with the debt ceiling crisis upon us, I returned to find that the new plan of the moment is to postpone hard decisions and major decisions (i.e. decisions some will not like because they are not in their personal best interest) until after the 2012 elections! We ordinary folks don’t have that option. We can’t postpone that budget surgery. The lights will get turned off, our car repossessed, and our home on the foreclosure auction block.

This confussion makes me yearn for heaven. The government will be on His shoulders. The strong, just, righteous, loving shoulders of Jesus.

Would that Washington looked to Him for direction. That’s our prayer.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-29T17:25:12-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/d57e48a55b0f6d836857441849390f81-109.html#unique-entry-id-109http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/d57e48a55b0f6d836857441849390f81-109.html#unique-entry-id-109Life after loss usually looks blank. We don’t know where to turn or what to do. My friend, I encourage you to just start something. Start a new hobby, volunteer in a new place, reach out to people you’ve become distant from. Just start something. My attempts to teach young widows to sew in Africa brought challenges galore, surprises, and incredible comfort. The worst that can happen is that you fail.

And what do you really have to lose. That new day seemed blank and meaningless anyway. Your new venture, laid bare before the Lord, gives Him the opportunity to step in and teach you. That, regardless of the outcome of your efforts is success.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-28T17:24:48-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/3ed59957801f4861140adfcb693eff3f-108.html#unique-entry-id-108http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/3ed59957801f4861140adfcb693eff3f-108.html#unique-entry-id-108When I first started with feeble attempts to train young widows in Africa the skill of sewing, I had no clue the challenges ahead or the rewards. I knew clearly that God left me on this planet on purpose. With parenting behind, my career over, and my husband in heaven, discovering a new purpose seemed impossible. But then, these young African widows were more desperate than I, and I knew how to sew on a treadle machine. So, I just started something.

This month, 25 widows graduated with skills in sewing that earned them their own sewing machine. 86 orphaned children who lost their dads now have a mom who can make their school uniforms, sell garments, and walk with their shoulders erect.

It’s not my doing, its God’s. Don’t hesitate, my friend. Just start something.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-27T17:24:17-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/3d6bf9a1bc789cbd0f5ca8191e88fc29-107.html#unique-entry-id-107http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/3d6bf9a1bc789cbd0f5ca8191e88fc29-107.html#unique-entry-id-107Great loss usually means looking backward, clinging tenaciously to threads of the past. While necessary for a bit, the we must eventually release the dream we’ve lost. Whether its a home that’s now rubble, or lost due to foreclosure or a treasured relationship. My widow friend, Ferree Hardy describes her loss. Life changed forever that day. Widowhood was nothing like I expected. The pain was so deep it was frightening; and then it went deeper still, to a place where tears watered tiny, shriveled up seeds of joy and strength. Did you know they grow best when buried in total darkness? When you can't see them, can't imagine.

So my friend, your tears of loss, letting the dream go, are watering the seeds of a new dream. You just can’t see it yet.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-26T17:23:28-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/9c10624275652942fe25d8d7342f26c4-106.html#unique-entry-id-106http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/9c10624275652942fe25d8d7342f26c4-106.html#unique-entry-id-106Staying power is a good thing whether in marriage through the rocky times or parenting when your child’s behavior is making you crazy. But staying put is not the wisest thing in all situations. Consider Joseph when his boss’ wife was tempting him to sin. He ran! In fact, he took off so fast that he left his cloak behind. Genesis 39. There’s a time when one must wise up and walk away. It’s always a tough decision. And usually our closest friend and advisors disagree in their advice. A temptation another can stand against might be our downfall. Wise up, walk away. Distancing ourselves from abusers is often misunderstood, especially when the abuse is a private matter.

Remember we answer to God, not to other people.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-25T17:22:43-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/37630f72d3b58e1b46901cdbb3d362ed-105.html#unique-entry-id-105http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/37630f72d3b58e1b46901cdbb3d362ed-105.html#unique-entry-id-105Are you disappointed with someone you care about? Their decisions are slow, they’re not ‘getting it.’ The progress they’re making--well, just not happening.

Think for a bit about trees in the Spring. My willows become a beautiful green/yellow just when the Bartlett pair bursts into a ball of white that dazzles the whole neighborhood. Yet, the walnut tree is still brown, drab. Not lookin like much.

But they are all right on their schedule. We usually don’t know the full story of our friends life, their challenges, and the burdens they carry. Remember, God has been patient with us. All humans at least have some regrets, time when their actions were in slow motion and their intentions lacking. God uses those times to teach all of us.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-22T17:22:16-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/859f9767115281fcf501d84a14443509-104.html#unique-entry-id-104http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/859f9767115281fcf501d84a14443509-104.html#unique-entry-id-104I recently heard an argument against adoption, percentages of risks when one votes for life by parenting a child not born of you. You bet the farm-- time, energy, money, and sanity on this child who will daily surprise you.

The statistics: greater likelihood of exposure during pregnancy to bad things. For years in foster care, greater risk of behaviors that will be hard to change. Greater surprises because their gene pool is unknown.

Two of my four children are adopted, as are three of my grandchildren. So what can I say?

Lets let God speak. He adopted us. Each of us who claim Jesus as our Savior and God as our Creator are adopted. He took the risk. We’re exposed to this corrupt world. Our behaviors are stubborn. Our gene pool--well human.

He’s for adoption.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-21T17:21:33-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/ba055e9e3f90c8d5a40dd6bb679d43cc-103.html#unique-entry-id-103http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/ba055e9e3f90c8d5a40dd6bb679d43cc-103.html#unique-entry-id-103Successful business men often publicize their formula for success. The Financial Times recently interview Leif Lundblad, a wealthy, Swedish, entrepreneur. His advice: beware of wealth. “I have money, but it’s not good to have too much because you become a bit . . I wouldn’t say lazy, but things become a little too easy.”

I’ve often noticed that what appears as a man’s wise saying has roots in Scripture. Proverbs 30:8 reminds us “give me neither poverty nor riches,   but give me only my daily bread.” Wealth can tempt us to believe our own invincibility, self sufficiency, and lack of reliance on God. Poverty can tempt us to steal.

Life happens to us all. Pick up a Bible, my friend. A good buffer against extreme living is to simply live by the book.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-20T17:21:01-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/b61110f834a66fc41b70be768edc644f-102.html#unique-entry-id-102http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/b61110f834a66fc41b70be768edc644f-102.html#unique-entry-id-102Have you discovered that at the end of your most troublesome days, there seem to be two of you? One says, “I’m done. Giving up. I won’t go to another interview. Subjecting myself to another stress filled interview, followed by no phone call to report to work: I just can’t do it anymore.”

Another you says, “But I tried. I learned something. Maybe it was not the right fit. Tomorrow will be a new day.”

Remember that Jesus feels with you. There were days every one rejected His message. He healed 12 lepers and only ONE came back to thank Him. His brother James wrote in James one, that the double minded person can’t be blessed. He’d watched his brother’s single minded focus. A good example for us all.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-19T17:20:14-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/d0a0399eb6f90eff619c251ceb4f5606-101.html#unique-entry-id-101http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/d0a0399eb6f90eff619c251ceb4f5606-101.html#unique-entry-id-101With my growing sense of urgency to live the James 1:27 mandate, commitment to encourage widows biblically has lead to me leading an organization. Surprise, Surprise! To me, not to God. J. Oswald Sanders has been mentoring me thorough his writings on Spiritual Leadership. Listen to his words of wisdom.

A leader without courage is not a leader.

Danger and difficulty don’t equal fear and discouragement.

True wisdom is being wise in time, not afterward.

I quote Martin Luther. “God can make one so desperately bold.”

With several trips to Africa in my rear view mirror, and countless emails from widows struggling in our own country, I realize I need all of the above: desperately fearless, desperately bold, and wise in time.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-18T13:14:42-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/d4617642f2eeb76eea6afb9ac6341b6c-100.html#unique-entry-id-100http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/d4617642f2eeb76eea6afb9ac6341b6c-100.html#unique-entry-id-100We puzzle at ‘out of control’ storms, tornados, earth quakes, and tsunamis this planet has experienced this past year. Trained experts and folks with wild guesses explain whats happening. This morning reading Psalm 98:8 I was reminded that creation groans waiting a better day, a day when this planet is no longer affected by the ravages of sin. “Let the rivers clap their hands,  let the mountains sing together for joy.” Rivers would rather be applauding our Lord, which they will do when He returns. Mountains would rather be singing than rising up from the depths of the sea disrupting oceans and all who live around them.

All this devastation was not God’s plan for our planet. It gives us the opportunity to show those affected His heart by reaching out to comfort and help them.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-15T13:14:14-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/e22fa007c2a6b27a42adbbe413fa026c-99.html#unique-entry-id-99http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/e22fa007c2a6b27a42adbbe413fa026c-99.html#unique-entry-id-99“How are you doing?” “What are you feeling?” Kind friends often ask these questions trying to comfort someone in their time of loss, grieving, recovering from catastrophe. The truth is, not every emotion has a name. After the tornados, family members sorted through debris grieving the future they have lost. Moments of anger at the ravages on this planet, mix with the grayness of doom. “Can I survive this?” “Will I have the strength to go on?” Even believers find they are wordless when trying to pray.

That’s OK. Our tender Father has a provision for that. The Holy Spirit, who communicates clearly with our Father, and who is in us in our loss, provides a vocabulary of groanings that bridge the gap. Our emotion needs no name. Our Father still feels with us.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-14T13:13:46-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/43d0735cb78b4209d237385829a5c625-98.html#unique-entry-id-98http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/43d0735cb78b4209d237385829a5c625-98.html#unique-entry-id-98Our widows support group invited a panel of young adult children to come to our event. These young adults had all lost their Dads when they were children. Our new young widows wanted to learn from them. What were their sources of strength? What were there challenges? We all need wisdom. They could help.

They agreed to one issue that had been painful and hurtful to them all: Badly timed spiritual encouragement.

Telling a young child at the church family picnic, “Aren’t you glad your Daddy’s in heaven with Jesus,” is cruel.

Quoting Romans 8:28 anytime near their loss? Once again, badly timed spiritual encouragement.

Remember there were times when Jesus kept silent. And times He simply wept--a good example for us all.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-13T13:13:08-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/591ffc4d5182948657e7396b406fbad4-97.html#unique-entry-id-97http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/591ffc4d5182948657e7396b406fbad4-97.html#unique-entry-id-97I’ve returned from Africa, my 7th trip there. The continent never ceases to amaze me. Packing to go, I was quite aware that I didn’t know what lay ahead. With every new country, there are views unlike any I’ve seen before. Flavored foods like none other, smells, music, and clothing unique to each area. While packing, I was reminded that this whole universe is simply God’s foot stool. What I’d see and experience would be no surprise to Him.

That reality meant peace in my soul as I packed for the unknown. I did’t know the country. But I know Him. I did’t know this adventure’s surprises. But He knows ME and equiped me for whatever each day brought. And its good to be home.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-12T13:12:40-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/be2fa549c08b1acd07e1fd54040e0a46-96.html#unique-entry-id-96http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/be2fa549c08b1acd07e1fd54040e0a46-96.html#unique-entry-id-96God has a dream. He revealed it in James 1:27. Quoting the Common English Bible, it reads, “True devotion, the kind that is pure and faultless before God, is this: to care for orphans and widows in their difficulties and to keep the world from contaminating us.”

To fulfill God’s dream, those of us who are Christ followers would demonstrate by helping the voiceless in their bad times, times of crisis, grief and poverty. That care goes a long way in preventing the world from contaminating us.

We realize that the world’s way is to ignore at best and exploit at worst--a stark contrast to the dream of God’s heart. We see those who are compassionate when its easy. And those who are living God’s dream.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-11T13:12:09-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/7fe8f01c8309d37a75c5b92691473797-95.html#unique-entry-id-95http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/7fe8f01c8309d37a75c5b92691473797-95.html#unique-entry-id-95Opening your heart is not for the faint of heart. If you doubt this, get to know a family with adopted children. Get to know a family who have adopted children from diverse cultures or races different from their own.

They can tell you of the times their hearts have broken. When their love was not enough to fill the hole in their child’s heart. When the world’s bias and unkindness was beyond what they could control. When the damage was beyond their fixing.
You can help. Don’t ask them, “Is that your real child.” (I’m tempted to answer, “No, its my plastic one.”) Our humor gets a little crazy, of necessity.

Read Scripture that tells us that heavens population will be multicolored and multicultural.

The blessings of an open heart are huge.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-08T13:11:43-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/d02c8a9943a4b5a01669f1647ad0a079-94.html#unique-entry-id-94http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/d02c8a9943a4b5a01669f1647ad0a079-94.html#unique-entry-id-94When we’re slogging through life’s rainstorms or in a season of life with black clouds around our soul, we usually feel alone. And sometimes we keep that reality secret and try to ‘soldier on’ so no one will know the storm we’re in.

That aloneness may make things worse. We deny ourselves the encouragement of others. We’re vulnerable to poor decisions in our secret world of pain. And we don’t take advantage of knowledge and understanding from those who’ve weathered the storm.

Yes, it requires humility to tell someone of the storm we’re in, the temptation we’re struggling with. But humility signals to God that we’re willing to learn, willing to change, willing to stop being self sufficient.

Reach out, my friend. That will likely be the turning point.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-07T13:11:11-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/a65829dc6e2ac71feb27df8b76d5f595-93.html#unique-entry-id-93http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/a65829dc6e2ac71feb27df8b76d5f595-93.html#unique-entry-id-93It has been said that ‘the greater the joy, the greater the pain that proceeds it.’ If you have agonized over someone you love making wrong decisions, wept for a prodigal child including an adult one, you know the pain of seeing seeing squandered opportunity, unnecessary suffering, the hunger for what might have been.

Be patient, my friend. While there’s no guarantee that we’ll see that turnaround in our lifetime, IF and WHEN we do, our joy is sweet and exuberant! Just as the pain of childbirth can be quickly forgotten as we snuggle our sweet child, the joy of seeing that person we care for wiser, more sensible, with more spiritual character after that season of pain, dulls the memory of agony before.

Remember, Jesus endured the cross for the joy that was set before him.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-06T13:10:28-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/4da0117fee87817a0cae6d422045009f-92.html#unique-entry-id-92http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/4da0117fee87817a0cae6d422045009f-92.html#unique-entry-id-92Successful children of wealthy entrepreneurial business people credit their parents with starting them with the right stuff. Steve Katz cofounded 3 successful businesses. His son Marc, came to him with a business plan for Customlink, specialty golf items. His father said it was a great plan for a bad business and backed him anyway saying, ‘I’m betting on the jockey, not the horse.’ Customlink now has $70 million annual sales.

It’s incredibly important that a child know we are for them, regardless of genetic advantages or disadvantages. Thankfully our Creator shows us how. Having adopted us He provides the training manual. The horse we’re given to ride in this life may not be all we hoped. But with the help of our Creator, we have the potential to overcome the negatives we’re stuck with because of our genes.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-05T13:09:44-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/01674842b756cbc906879f5a6a1f7e7e-91.html#unique-entry-id-91http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/01674842b756cbc906879f5a6a1f7e7e-91.html#unique-entry-id-91The age old argument continues. What’s most important: heredity or environment? A Forbes magazine article documents that the daughters of successful entrepreneurs Ralph Lauren, and Tom Yeardye, of Vidal Sassoon. are successful somehow because of their genes. Dylan Lauren’s Candy Bars have sales of over $24 million. Tamara Mellon’s shoe company, Jimmy Choo have sales of $240 million. Nature might be important

Steve Jobs of Apple trumps most--and he’s adopted. Nurture influenced him. Having both biological and adopted children, the discussion is important. I see the influences of both nature and nurture in our four children.

According to Ephesians 1: 5 we become adopted children of God when we accept Jesus, his son, as our Savior. This means we have resources and opportunities our human families could not offer us.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-04T13:09:08-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/016d366351bc4f0ef02e476378138a8f-90.html#unique-entry-id-90http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/016d366351bc4f0ef02e476378138a8f-90.html#unique-entry-id-90This celebration, the 4th of July, is an incredible day of decision in our country. In 1776, our founding fathers signed the declaration of independence declaring that our 13 colonies were no longer subjects of England. “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, . . endowed by their Creator with unalienable Rights, . . . Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

“Created equal”. “Endowed by their Creator”-- stark declarations of their belief that we are God’s creation, not evolved beings, equal in value.
How far we have fallen from that God focused declaration.
These were bold men. Signing that statement put their lives on the line. Death might follow.
What about you and I? Will we stand for what we believe, sign for all to see our beliefs?


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-07-01T13:08:36-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/48798904ca6098cf794471fe1ea36093-89.html#unique-entry-id-89http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/48798904ca6098cf794471fe1ea36093-89.html#unique-entry-id-89John Adams wrote to his wife, Abagail,. “The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other.”

He was partly right. Celebrations will be loud, beautiful, tasty, and memorable. But we no longer commemorate this day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty.”

Pause in your party and thank God. His strength is why we are still free.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-30T13:07:24-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/32245a3497fcdb84dda3632025986723-88.html#unique-entry-id-88http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/32245a3497fcdb84dda3632025986723-88.html#unique-entry-id-88Osama bin Laden though dead will be in the news for months maybe years. The evil he inflicted is beyond measure in human pain and suffering. Not surprisingly, in our money oriented society, some are counting the monetary cost of this one man to our country. Conservative estimates are at least $3 trillion over the last 15 years. Our disrupted economy after 9/11, heightened security, and direct efforts to hunt him down impacted every segment of our country.
Many of us investigated a belief system we had not noticed before. I went to my local book store, bought the Koran, and began reading it to find out what motivated this man and millions of others like him. A man of influence, certainly. But of little influence compared to the impact of Jesus Christ, God’s son.

Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-29T13:06:10-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/c46f90956d03a46f6c2ebfae8e5dca87-87.html#unique-entry-id-87http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/c46f90956d03a46f6c2ebfae8e5dca87-87.html#unique-entry-id-87Frank Wright, President of National Religious Broadcasters wrote these words.
“Our nation was birthed in prayer. Think back to the winter of 1778 when Isaac Potts, owner of the home General George Washington was using as his Valley Forge headquarters, came upon the General’s horse tethered in the woods. Curious, Potts followed the sound of a voice and, to his surprise, came upon General Washington alone and praying fervently in a secluded stand of trees. Or the account of crusty, 81-year-old Benjamin Franklin who acknowledged – during difficult proceedings that had almost derailed the 1787 Constitutional Convention – “that ‘God governs the affairs of man’…and if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without His aid?” Even Franklin, not a pious man, valued prayer.”

Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-28T13:05:35-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/97ccf8e7dd665356c438c13cf3956efa-86.html#unique-entry-id-86http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/97ccf8e7dd665356c438c13cf3956efa-86.html#unique-entry-id-86I puzzled to see a woman in the next lap lane in the pool wearing huge sunglasses. Not goggles, sunglasses. We paused at the same time. I asked her about her glasses. She said they prevented glare. “But they’re not helping today,” she said. “They’re just fogging over.” And she continued her swim in her sun glasses. I tried to understand. Yes, one wall is a huge window with delightful sunshine on some days. Her solution did not match her problem. I’m reminded of people following false religions today. They realize a deeper need for a firm foundation. They embrace a belief system that requires sacrifice, marginalizing one gender, and loyalty to a dead human.
They could follow a man, Jesus, God in human form, who conquered death, values all people, and brings real light.

Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-27T13:04:50-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/aef8dfa71ca3fd078050302e77fce79b-85.html#unique-entry-id-85http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/aef8dfa71ca3fd078050302e77fce79b-85.html#unique-entry-id-85In an earlier era we spoke of moving to greener pastures. That meant leaving a dead end job or a tattered relationship for what we thought would be better. With the unrest in African countries, many are fleeing for ‘greener pastures.’ In my travels in Africa, I can understand the motivation. But the outcome is sometimes unexpected. Migrants from poor villages, usually men, arrive in the city, usually landing in the outskirt slums first. They are drawn by the possibilities of work, cell phones, and motorcycles.
What greets them is often urban violence, poorly built and unsafe housing and AIDS. The wife and children they leave behind become widows and orphans, by biblical definition of ‘widow:’ ‘woman abandoned.’ What can we do? Begin by praying for the churches in Africa. Their responsibilities are large and resources small.

Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-24T13:04:09-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/9a87f277abde59d7a5043a1c85410b76-84.html#unique-entry-id-84http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/9a87f277abde59d7a5043a1c85410b76-84.html#unique-entry-id-84Look in the mirror. You’re looking at a masterpiece. Ephesians 2:10 declares that we are whether we feel it or not. I like my widower friend, Jo’s words. “Masterpiece...created...to do good things he planned long ago...  Father isn't just making due with me, despite all of my flaws.  I'm the handiwork of a master, The Master, and He has good things planned for me. Reminded me of something I heard long ago, the value of a painting doesn't come from the perfection of the art, it comes from the hand of the master who paints it. Jo could focus on his loss as a widower, his struggles as a single parent. Instead, he’s focusing on the One who created masterpiece Jo.

Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-23T13:03:28-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/3d4d456ccc86071b2964620021ae1ea2-83.html#unique-entry-id-83http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/3d4d456ccc86071b2964620021ae1ea2-83.html#unique-entry-id-83You’re a masterpiece! My friend, Jo, widower and parent of two teenagers pondered Ephesians 2:10 We are God’s masterpiece. He has created us so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. 
I quote Jo, “Problem is, a masterpiece seems to imply perfection and I don't look back over the past three years and think perfection.  While I have readily acknowledged Father's hand in our lives and depended upon Him to sustain and guide my kids and I, when I think of my wife's death, my children's ongoing grief and struggle, life as a single parent, if I were a painting I'd say I am riped in half and the colors were running together; if a sculpure then I am teetering on one leg.  Perfection or masterpiece just never came to mind.

Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-22T13:02:58-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/440b5856c7804f84a0af107f5f8eb70b-82.html#unique-entry-id-82http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/440b5856c7804f84a0af107f5f8eb70b-82.html#unique-entry-id-82There’s a saying: God fits the back for the burden. I,e, your back pack of troubles will not crush you. You will grow, become stronger, and make it through. I Corinthians 10 guarantees that. That’s mustard seed faith.
Let’s take it further. You were chosen for the challenge. That requires a growing faith believing God allows that crushing burden on purpose. He is proving something to someone. We may never know what, who, or how.
I know when my husband entered the ALS support group with his confident smile and contentment despite his 400# wheel chair and death sentence, everyone in the room took notice. He was mustard tree strong!
Chosen for His blessings is easy. Acknowledging that we are chosen for the challenge--that’s hard. The two go together. He can be trusted for both.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-21T13:02:15-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/66ea97da54d62d19f964e928ff0b5d71-81.html#unique-entry-id-81http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/66ea97da54d62d19f964e928ff0b5d71-81.html#unique-entry-id-81Martin Luther King Jr stated that power without love is reckless and abusive. How true. In my families experience with orphans, the incarcerated, widows, and the poor, my heart breaks at the abuse of the voiceless. King also stated that love without power is sentimental and anemic. This organization, Widowconnection, seeks to combine love with appropriate support, harnessing resources of those of us who have voices, jobs, and can help with real direct needs of those without.
One simple project is to buy treadle sewing machines for widows in Africa, hire sewing trainers, and help these young women who often have several young children, gain a skill. No one can take away your skill.
Each project decides what they should make and what will sell in their location.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-20T13:01:29-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/da1e7a7de5048ecfc8a5f850eb669f47-80.html#unique-entry-id-80http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/da1e7a7de5048ecfc8a5f850eb669f47-80.html#unique-entry-id-80Are you in a conflict beyond description? Welcome to rugby. I watched my grandsons in this dreadful, yet exciting match. Muscled men connected to muscled men in a pyramid. Two opposing pyramids faced each other. The ‘sir’ (referee) shouts, “Engage!” The two forces lean into each other with groans and grunts as if they are trying to shift the universe. Without words the sounds communicate clearly the desire of each player.

I’m reminded of the groanings of the Holy Spirit on our behalf. When we’re too troubled or too weak to find words, the Holy Spirit steps in for us to speak on our behalf. How desperately we need this. Our greatest struggles are not personal: they are spiritual--good against evil. We need all the help we can get.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-17T17:13:17-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/a6f4023c48916c11c14dfca5b1c91e19-79.html#unique-entry-id-79http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/a6f4023c48916c11c14dfca5b1c91e19-79.html#unique-entry-id-79After loosing the love of my life, I treasured meaningful quotes. When our minds are too numb to be creative, a brief phrase that expresses our heart is a treasure. Here are a few I loved.
“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, Love leaves a memory no one can steal.”
Earth holds no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.
Grief is the reminder that we loved and were loved. 
Its better to have loved and lost, than never have loved at all.

Of all the quotes I scribbled, reread and wept over, none matched the comfort of these:
“I go to prepare a place for you,” Jesus words.

“He is Risen, He is Risen Indeed.”

Do you need healing today, my friend? Prepare for heaven


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-16T17:12:47-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/f7f773f75fa2a76e66c73331957b2e12-78.html#unique-entry-id-78http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/f7f773f75fa2a76e66c73331957b2e12-78.html#unique-entry-id-78Why do we make such a big deal of age? Some people are marking years by the next job change, qualifying for medical coverage, graduation date, or their 21st birthday.

What difference does it make? Not as much as we think at the moment. A World War I veteran, Claude Choules, died recently at the age of 110. He was still dancing and swimming.

Moses died at age 120. His eyes were not weak and his strength was not gone. Deuteronomy 34:7. The average age of our United States Senators is 62.

I’ve given up slalom water skiing. But two skis are still a bunch of fun. But remembering Moses gives a sense of urgency to the content of each day. God knows when our last day will be. We don’t. Let’s just make today count.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-15T17:12:11-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/f530ae26082aaf5d0cfab313d6f41f0e-77.html#unique-entry-id-77http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/f530ae26082aaf5d0cfab313d6f41f0e-77.html#unique-entry-id-77Theres an African proverb that speaks truth. “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.’ I’m learning that with our Africa projects. I’ve traveled alone to start our first projects. Traveling and decision making are simple when you’re a party of one. Tomorrow I leave with a team. While I meet with widows, reaching out to help them acquire a skill, my three grandsons will lead sports events with their orphaned children. My daughter and son-in-law will coordinate and serve in both places.

Yes, it will take us longer to get through customs. Retrieving baggage and adjusting when the unexpected happens will require more time. Logistics of food for six and travel will be more complicated. But I think we’ll go far.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-14T17:11:35-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/e15ec34b92707cfbc3b8435676464e5f-76.html#unique-entry-id-76http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/e15ec34b92707cfbc3b8435676464e5f-76.html#unique-entry-id-76Are you facing this new day discouraged? Wounded in your heart and soul? Like an athlete still in the game after being rocked, we call it ‘playing hurt.’ My friend, I know this does not sooth your soul, but most people ‘play hurt,’ at least part of the time.

Yes, some hide it better than others. Here’s whats good. While ‘busy’ does not change the reality of what discourages you today, your ‘to do’ list is at least distracting. Paul in Philippians 3:12 tells us that he had to press on to accomplish what he needed to do. We know he had a problem thorn in the flesh that never went away. He was ‘playing hurt.‘ Succumbing to life’s injuries is unnecessary. And you’ll be rewarded for pressing on.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-13T17:10:13-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/82995f9d7419d99442797e9f43df81a8-75.html#unique-entry-id-75http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/82995f9d7419d99442797e9f43df81a8-75.html#unique-entry-id-75My friend was a college basketball player. Karyn was small and mighty. In recent years she’s had multiple surgeries: hips, feet, knees. Yet she’s working, gardening, and lifting babies. “How do you do it,” I asked?

“I’m used to playing hurt.” She reminisced her college glory days remembering that an injury was not a cause to be sidelined or benched.

How like real living today. Few of us are unscarred with emotions, mind, and spiritual stamina at 100% on any given day. Yet we face the new day.

May I encourage you, friend. Its O.K. to play hurt. Most people are. You’ve visited someone you love in prison--and then you go to your job.
Someone you trusted bailed on you--and you go to family gatherings, social events, church.

Just remember, Jesus did too!


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-10T09:38:47-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/b8d081d2f12f0426451ff2ab17bd92e6-74.html#unique-entry-id-74http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/b8d081d2f12f0426451ff2ab17bd92e6-74.html#unique-entry-id-74When someone says, “There is no question,” we have to assume “there is a question.” Facts, when clear, speak for themselves. Truth needs to be neither screamed or pounded into the spotlight.

People questioned Jesus about his authenticity through out his life. They ignored miracles, prophecy, and his daily behavior of caring for the ignored, the people not of his circle.

What we know is that people often believe what they wish to believe, what fits in with their behavior at the time.

Had his naysayers accepted him as their Messiah, they would have needed to care for their parents, widows, orphans, and not cheat poor people. They would have had to give up their positions of leadership based on pride and showmanship. Truth would have changed their lives. They weren’t ready.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-09T09:38:25-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/6f4443f7288ecb33388752b615f04bbd-73.html#unique-entry-id-73http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/6f4443f7288ecb33388752b615f04bbd-73.html#unique-entry-id-73Statistics talk. I recently learned that folks change investment advisors for a surprising reason. 13% change based on the performance of their investments with that advisor.

The MAJORITY change advisors based on communication: not enough, not specific to their needs, in other words not WHAT is done, but HOW.

Interesting. I wonder if those of us who claim to be Christ followers might learn something from that for our churches.
Our message is relevant and compelling. What we offer is needed by all. How do we communicate that message? I’m personally challenged to be more Christ like in how I communicate this precious message.

Am I listening first like Jesus did? Am I solid in my faith in spite of extreme loss, like Naomi was? How we communicate matters.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-08T09:37:53-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/2f049c84570d1d6c2dc3c9cf3faea721-72.html#unique-entry-id-72http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/2f049c84570d1d6c2dc3c9cf3faea721-72.html#unique-entry-id-72My heart is already in Africa though I won’t arrive there until next week. Widow Connection will begin more projects to help widows help themselves. It is likely that we’ll buy treadle sewing machines and hire tailoring trainers. If these young widows equip themselves with a skill, it is more likely that they can provide for themselves and their orphaned children. Why are their so many young widows in Africa? An obvious answer in many areas is AIDS. Another deadly cause is conflict. Recent news daily informs the world that within any country, factions clash. Reported deaths in the hundreds are common. These are mainly men--with families.

A third common cause has been called, “The neglected epidemic” road related injuries.

Regardless of the cause, we’ll show up, and do what we can.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-07T09:37:22-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/932dd6297f31643ebe6f903fb39a538b-71.html#unique-entry-id-71http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/932dd6297f31643ebe6f903fb39a538b-71.html#unique-entry-id-71There’s a saying in a prominent company: “Don’t just report the news; change the news.” Another way to say that might be. “Don’t just report the numbers, work smart and move them up.”

Jesus said the same but with a more significant emphasis. He challenged followers to accept the gifts they were given and grow them exponentially.

We all experience hard things, hard times, and loss. That’s the news. We can change the rest of the story. That hard time, big loss can be the stuff from which we launch to a new purpose, extend compassion to those we ignored before. Spend that adrenaline on a worthwhile cause.

Then when we stand before the only one that matters, we will not need to just report the news. Our life can show that we changed the news.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-06T09:36:39-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/5c264bb8a78e0e2d8929c27dff741748-70.html#unique-entry-id-70http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/5c264bb8a78e0e2d8929c27dff741748-70.html#unique-entry-id-70A recent survey reports that only 28% believe God created humans. 41% believe in evolution and 31% don’t know what to believe. I took my grandsons to the Creation Museum in Petersburg, Kentucky. Their foundation of Biblical faith was strengthened as they listened, observed, and experienced the God prints on us as humans and on our planet. At that time they were all the same height, all within one year of age. All similarities ended there: one saunters, one swaggers, one floats--its called ‘walking.’ One smiles shyly, one beams, and one charms--its called smiling. One sprints, one sails, one charges--its called running.

Biblical evidence is enough for me. But if you doubt, just people watch. Whether at a park, airport, mall, or athletic field, God’s handiwork in creating people cannot be denied.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-03T09:36:05-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/d5b8963f7448897dd7272521df7ff379-69.html#unique-entry-id-69http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/d5b8963f7448897dd7272521df7ff379-69.html#unique-entry-id-69More than 20 years ago, stock market underwriter stated, “The threat to this market is not a Japanese earthquake. We know that will happen. The threat comes from the risks we never imagined.” We’ve recently faced both. Japan has been brought to its knees by an earthquake. And bin Laden’s demise reminded us of the tragedy 10 years ago no one imagined. What is known as 9/11 symbolized a disaster no one predicted.
Statisticians run numbers and people ponder: What does the future hold? What should I do about it? Given that we know we won’t live forever, I wonder why so few research their future after they die?
Polls show 51% believe there is an after life and a supreme deity. 18% don’t believe in God and 17% aren’t sure. That’s something to ponder.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-02T09:35:21-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/13710d70be7b080378c0dfca086f7bcc-68.html#unique-entry-id-68http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/13710d70be7b080378c0dfca086f7bcc-68.html#unique-entry-id-68America is a generous nation. How do we measure up as individuals? Oklahoma deserves our applause. Their average resident donated $1,587 to charity in 2009. While using God’s standard of giving 10%, that average may not be great. But its higher than the rest of the states. I take note of the donation level of our politicians. How much and to whom they donate shows me their character.
Jesus made it clear that where we invest our resources shouts what matters to us. “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Matthew 6:21

He values caring for those without resources. Whether its showing up with a bucket of paint to freshen a poor widows living space, or caring for an abandoned child in our states children’s welfare program. We’re showing him our heart.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-06-01T09:30:25-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/a7dc72dac3cfd92bc9708b811416f11c-67.html#unique-entry-id-67http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/a7dc72dac3cfd92bc9708b811416f11c-67.html#unique-entry-id-67I cringe when I hear someone say, “I’m a self made man.” They’re attributing their success to their own intellect, hard work, and initiative. Valuable attributes, yes, but where did your intellect come from? What part did you play in the unique combination of your genes, or having a strong body? What part did you play in the continent on which you were born, the country, county, or address?
Job and David agreed both asking, “What is man,” that God should even notice us. Job 7:17 Psalm 144:3
Does thinking we are self made matter? Absolutely. Human pride is in that equation, and prejudice might be as well. 43 verses in Scripture refer to God’s opinion about the humble person, how He willingly instructs them and looks out for their interests. That trumps being self made.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-11T11:50:36-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/33e3a8bb930139ad3bdd0442400e5dbe-66.html#unique-entry-id-66http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/33e3a8bb930139ad3bdd0442400e5dbe-66.html#unique-entry-id-66A friend recently told me his small granddaughter begins each prayer with, “Thank you, Jesus, for all the joys.” Luke 9:48 reminds us that we need to become like a little child. Trusting simply the one who has our best interests at heart. By starting each conversation with him with thanksgiving for ‘all the joys’ our focus is on what’s gone right. A smile from a stranger, offering polite deference in the parking lot by a driver who’s taking our spot. Letting someone else in the check out line ahead of us and enjoying the look of surprise. Thank you Jesus for all the joys. Itis OK to start small and then move to the bigger joys like trusting without seeing and praising him before we see results. Thank you Jesus for all the joys.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-10T11:49:45-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/02007de7eac116280dee582d68ef8f65-65.html#unique-entry-id-65http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/02007de7eac116280dee582d68ef8f65-65.html#unique-entry-id-65“Get out your rolodex!” A group was expected to contact everyone they knew on a very important matter. Now there’s an item that is obsolete. My old one is stuffed in a bookcase some where. I’m now frustrated when my Iphone and computer are slow in syncing new contacts. Like the old ditto machine that left blue ink on every educators hands, the rolodex has been displaced by something better.

I get tired of change. But I have learned to text. Will we all be driving electric cars next? I’m so thankful that our faith in our Creator and his guidelines for living will never become obsolete. We can read it from a heavy book or on a tiny gadget in our hand. The message is the same.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-09T11:49:09-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/d353c42bcb0a11cb1b9b574fffd1ef43-64.html#unique-entry-id-64http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/d353c42bcb0a11cb1b9b574fffd1ef43-64.html#unique-entry-id-64One of the most common elements of life we all share is change. Big, small, positive, negative, they can lift us up or destroy us. New beginnings are a reality in our lives. How do we face them? Walk through them? What are we like afterward? I lived through many thinking I knew the answers: choosing training, a lifetime mate, having children, adopting finding a career, getting a job, moving. These are exciting, positive. But there’s the other kind: loosing a job, stuck in unemployment, divorce, watching your child make poor decisions, the death of a child. Have you, like me, faced the unexpected, the unwanted that requires me to start over?

Life is real, not all beginnings are of our choosing. We discover God in a new way. He’s more than good, He’s Grand.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-06T11:48:24-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/0e6889f21298f455767894738cd8fd74-63.html#unique-entry-id-63http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/0e6889f21298f455767894738cd8fd74-63.html#unique-entry-id-63Mother’s Day. Flowers, cards, phone calls, and strange meals. Every child becomes a chef. I’ve eaten scrambled rubber eggs and carved bologna sandwiches as if they were lobster with drawn butter. But Mother’s Day is not a day of celebration for everyone--especially for families experiencing economic turmoil, divorce, death of a child, or mom, or dad. Pain can wipe out even decades of happier memories.

What can we do if we are that family in pain? Try something different. One dad took his two children to the beach for the first mothers day after the love of his life exited for heaven. They walked in silence. Eventually he wrote in the sand, “Happy Mothers Day Deltha.” Spontaneously both children signed their names. They began a new tradition.

Face forward. Choose something new, and comfort will come.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-05T11:47:47-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/48a7e5fa2556409428abb30298d3007a-62.html#unique-entry-id-62http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/48a7e5fa2556409428abb30298d3007a-62.html#unique-entry-id-62Our heart is a tablet, an Ipad. II Corinthians 3: 2 & 3 says, ‘You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.’

What a sobering thought. We’re carving a message on another person’s heart. And then others read it!

What kind of letter are you writing on the heart of your spouse? What letter are you writing on the hearts of your children? Your letter is incredibly important to them. Your influence, your legacy, does not end there. Others read it. Is their heart shredded, or strengthened, secure and healthy?

Lord, guide my heart writing.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-04T11:47:09-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/8a6773fe31cd678d7aaa271a30a9c5be-61.html#unique-entry-id-61http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/8a6773fe31cd678d7aaa271a30a9c5be-61.html#unique-entry-id-61One of our biggest dangers is to become immobilized when crisis comes. We have a better option. I love the Scripture that says, ‘in all you DO, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths. He can only direct if we are willing to act. I remember walking through the bush in Africa. The path was uneven and sharp turns gave no indication of what was around the next corner. The grass was taller than my head. Does your path seem like that today? You can choose to sit down. But then God can’t direct your path. Remember, ‘in all you DO, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.’ Your boldness and action indicates your faith. He knows exactly where you are, what’s ahead, and loves to give us bold directions.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-03T11:46:35-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/4d22da2e7b71a23736dc9c990468055b-60.html#unique-entry-id-60http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/4d22da2e7b71a23736dc9c990468055b-60.html#unique-entry-id-60I knew when my life seemed to spin out of control that I had choices. I could succumb and crash and burn, or tenaciously choose four different options. These have been my pillars and my desire for all of us when must start over. We can:

• Choose intentionally

• Live boldly
• Change positively
• Trust biblically.

Our we can let our crisis ruin our future.
Has your world been shaken by divorce or financial upheaval? Have you lost a person you treasured. I listened to a divorced mom recently who lived in her car after having a ‘typical’ suburban family. She’s radiant today. Her children have become rock solid believers. She chose intentionally to not look backwards with bitterness. Yes, she had to relocate and begin a new career. God honored her faith. Choose intentionally my friend.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-02T11:45:33-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/2ace6b91839133eea4a242ccca5c157d-59.html#unique-entry-id-59http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/2ace6b91839133eea4a242ccca5c157d-59.html#unique-entry-id-59I knew when my life seemed to spin out of control that I had choices. I could succumb and crash and burn, or tenaciously choose four different options. These have been my pillars and my desire for all of us when must start over. We can:

• Choose intentionally

• Live boldly
• Change positively
• Trust biblically.

Our we can let our crisis ruin our future.
Has your world been shaken by divorce or financial upheaval? Have you lost a person you treasured. I listened to a divorced mom recently who lived in her car after having a ‘typical’ suburban family. She’s radiant today. Her children have become rock solid believers. She chose intentionally to not look backwards with bitterness. Yes, she had to relocate and begin a new career. God honored her faith. Choose intentionally my friend.

Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-31T11:22:56-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/c9e0ce2a0f68b64cf71e43b675939464-57.html#unique-entry-id-57http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/c9e0ce2a0f68b64cf71e43b675939464-57.html#unique-entry-id-57Graduation speeches will drone on this season. Hours of preparation will result in lots of words that are forgotten in weeks, if not in hours. Challenges will focus on being the best you can be, never giving up, remembering old friends, and appreciating the family that got you to this place. I’ve never heard a graduation speech that focused on the best advice anyone could ever hear. It is this

If you wish to be great, serve others.
If you wish to leave a legacy, focus on bringing out the best in those around you.
If you wish to be remembered, elevate the lowly, the poor, the disabled, widows and orphans around you.
If you wish to be rich, invest more in others than you invest in yourself.

Then give credit to the source of these words: Jesus

Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-30T11:22:20-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/79af17c0c1e4a9c8252df5f9fd99ae17-56.html#unique-entry-id-56http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/79af17c0c1e4a9c8252df5f9fd99ae17-56.html#unique-entry-id-56Is Memorial Day another dreaded holiday? Do memories of how things used to be bring pain. I understand, my friend. Your loss is different from mine, but we know our ideal celebration is not going to happen. You may not buy what you used to buy for the grill. Friends may have moved. My husband is in heaven.

Rather than focus on my void, I have a plan. I’m going to specifically pray for those separated from their families serving our country. Men oversees, women in basic training, children at grandma’s missing daddy or mommy. What do they need? Safety, comfort, knowledge they’re not forgotten, that they fill their loneliness void with good choices, that God reminds them in some specific way that He loves them. These are prayers that God loves to answer. Let’s pray.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-27T11:21:39-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/07597f06c3835d71770e7053f1b95255-55.html#unique-entry-id-55http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/07597f06c3835d71770e7053f1b95255-55.html#unique-entry-id-55What are your Memorial Day plans? I plan to watch my 3 grandsons play Rugby and go to a parade. What’s not to love about a parade? Fire trucks, flying candy, scout troops, flags. And always the trolley with WWII veterans.

Well, not always. In less than 10 years there may be no one to represent that war.

We can learn from these heros. I’ve discovered that they don’t want to talk about what they did. They have an admirable quiet shyness. Big accomplishment, no bragging. Big sacrifice, not asking for any thanks. Education interrupted, they still went on to work hard, show up, support families, and lead companies.

I have a plan, will you join me? When they appear in the parade, lets rise from the curb, our lawn chairs and shout ‘Thank you!’ They deserve it.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-26T11:20:36-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/7147a30496c9fc606e1bbf34a6b7a488-54.html#unique-entry-id-54http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/7147a30496c9fc606e1bbf34a6b7a488-54.html#unique-entry-id-54I listened today to a young man talk of his Dad. At the age of 10 he died in a plane accident coming home from a fishing trip. He began to weep (not a common happening for men around other women). “You never get over it,” he quietly said after regaining his composure. Today he’s father to a ten year old and two other youngsters.

I don’t know your loss, but I know, you’ll never get over it. Yes, time softens griefs pangs. But we are forever changed by our crisis. There will be moments your memory box flies open unexpectedly and you are back to that day, or that season of time.

It’s very likely you’ll have a new compassion and strength you did not have before. And thats a good reason to never get over it.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-25T11:19:35-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/5b8d229961595fd28e8fb573e18780d7-53.html#unique-entry-id-53http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/5b8d229961595fd28e8fb573e18780d7-53.html#unique-entry-id-53Skin color matters. I walked thorough an African village. I was the only white person. My African American friend traveled to Ghana with a group of white folks. They went shopping in the Mall. “How did it feel to be in the minority,” she asked? An insightful discussion followed. This summer I’ll take my grandsons to Kenya. For the first time, they’ll be surrounded by people who look like them.
Friends, lets start practicing here for heaven. Revelation 5:9 tells us that Jesus’ blood purchased for God persons from every tribe and language and people and nation. We’ll all be together there--no minority status for anybody. Just brothers and sisters cherishing each other, singing in harmony, and focusing on the same thing: praising God for His son, our source of real unity.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-24T11:03:02-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/aa2245f229f584248c0eaa73b3e0f3c6-52.html#unique-entry-id-52http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/aa2245f229f584248c0eaa73b3e0f3c6-52.html#unique-entry-id-52My fishing friends had a great catch in their fishing basket. Ending a great day on Table Rock Lake they they were stunned to look at their fishing basket floating next to their boat. A huge black snake, contorted in shape from swallowing most of their fish, was trapped in their basket and could not get out. He had slithered in at one size, devoured their catch, and was now too big to escape.

How like the great serpent of Scripture, the evil one. He can slither into our lives, devour every good possibility of today and tomorrow. Looks like he won! Not really. His day will come when the great Fisher of Men will claim us. And the great serpent will not be able to escape what he’s got coming.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-16T11:25:43-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/a395cc780c539f76bb7d3b112de7b412-51.html#unique-entry-id-51http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/a395cc780c539f76bb7d3b112de7b412-51.html#unique-entry-id-51A few years ago, I knew I had a big transition ahead. I was facing retirement from a 26-year career as a counselor educator. I began my preparation by studying Scripture on transitions, God’s instructions and people stories. I was preparing for the expected. But then life happened. My husband of 39 years was diagnosed with an untreatable, terminal disease. Three years later, after Bob’s exit to heaven, my retirement seemed infinitesimally small compared to loosing Bob.

Can I tell you that I understand the changes you are facing? No. But I can tell you that starting over is hard. I can also tell you that new beginnings are opportunities.

Trust God for those. He’s the only one who knows the smooth parts of our journey and the rocky parts as well.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-23T11:19:37-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/e05d24ca02d038dc1d1a4c8351e18395-50.html#unique-entry-id-50http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/e05d24ca02d038dc1d1a4c8351e18395-50.html#unique-entry-id-50There’s no shortage of leadership summits, training seminars, and classes these days. Prestigious business schools are adding ethics classes. Small and mega churches are focusing on training to lead. I have become a student, again, since I now lead a fledgling organization. I highly recommend reading or rereading, ‘Spiritual Leadership’ by J. Oswald Sanders. Be prepared to be confronted with truths that contradict popular leadership training models. I quote:
“Spiritual leaders are not elected, appointed, or created. . . . God alone makes them.”

“True greatness , true leadership, is found in giving yourself in service to others, not in coaxing or inducing others to serve you.”

“ We must aim to put more into life than we take out.” End quote

Leadership training following the world’s model will lead to Spiritual bankruptcy.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-20T11:18:48-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/b4bd94035600e64a5066cbcb06cdb7d1-49.html#unique-entry-id-49http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/b4bd94035600e64a5066cbcb06cdb7d1-49.html#unique-entry-id-49I had the unexpected pleasure of spending an hour with someone I admire. Leaving an event together, I could be her taxi home. Carol Ruther is a new business owner leading Trail Bound trips. I’ve loved hiking with her. I’m a new business owner in a sense. Though Widow Connection is not for profit, we must be focused on our mission and run efficiently. Our growing pains are similar: delegating, choosing between more open doors that we can navigate, and investing our resources.

We share the need for one huge thing with every decision and challenge: Wisdom.

More money? Helpful. Acquainting more people with what we’re doing? Valuable. More staff? We’d love it. But we’re starting by praying for wisdom. Now that’s a good beginning.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-19T11:18:12-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/ebb4bfaf421473e9d7eed7b247f9985b-48.html#unique-entry-id-48http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/ebb4bfaf421473e9d7eed7b247f9985b-48.html#unique-entry-id-48Spring time means sandals, flip flops and bare feet. What has been covered in my area for months will be on full display. Feet are strange looking appendages. I’ve never seen a beautiful foot. Babies feet are cute--but its down hill every day from then on. Strangely Scripture points out that feet can be beautiful. Is 52:7 says feet are beautiful when they carry good news and salvation. I love seeing truths repeated in both the Old and New Testament. Romans 10:15 repeats that bringing good news makes feet look great. Older more gnarly feet might even win the beauty contest if their worn from bringing good news and salvation where ever they go.

Baring our feet reminds us that its just humans that look at this outside stuff. God is looking at our heart.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-18T11:17:36-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/26c9587dfc3e54f3b17c1c55c3aaf7cc-47.html#unique-entry-id-47http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/26c9587dfc3e54f3b17c1c55c3aaf7cc-47.html#unique-entry-id-47Japan has grabbed our attention, our hearts, and our good will. The scenes of the tsunami and the nuclear reactors will fade in the news. What will we remember? I have been impressed by two things: even in their suffering, there were no riots. People helped each other. Would that all had been true after Katrina. Another impressive focus was their care for the elderly. People gave special care to grandparents, making sure they got to safe places first. We don’t look to Japan as our model in everything, but they showed us the high road here.

I think next they’ll demonstrate their resilience. These are values we claim as Christians. There are some lessons we can learn from the Japanese. Crisis can bring out the best or the worst. Which will it be for us?


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-17T11:14:01-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/33870ecf91445c9add2af8408cdb71d1-46.html#unique-entry-id-46http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/33870ecf91445c9add2af8408cdb71d1-46.html#unique-entry-id-46News today has to be dramatic. Don’t report on quiet diplomacy, growth of good companies, or families that are being normal. Show us the catastrophes. Tell us the worst case scenario. Include dramatic pictures. Fires, tsunamis, radio activity. Exaggeration is acceptable if it draws more attention, popularity, and money.
Some things never change. In Jesus’ day, people followed him for the free food, physical healing, to see what He’d do THAT day. Yesterday’s news was not enough. But when he wanted to talk about heart issues, who He really was, they wanted to move on. How like people today. If any Christian has messed up, bring on the camera. But highlighting the goodness and generosity of Christ followers who help others, feeding orphans, comforting widows? Not so news worthy.
Thankfully we’re living for God’s approval, not publicity.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-13T09:44:31-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/ccfa7ff11457b224103932d280542af0-44.html#unique-entry-id-44http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/ccfa7ff11457b224103932d280542af0-44.html#unique-entry-id-44You served, you gave, you knew you were doing the right thing for the right reason. And then from nowhere our adversary struck. The evil one wants no good thing to stand. He wants to check your heart for serving God so hard that you won’t get up again. Run to the Lord first. Psalm 143:9. (I’ve fled to you for refuge.) Then consult with your spiritual mentors. They’ll reflect a perspective you might have missed. And then expect a blessing. I’ve experienced all of the above recently. Peace in the mess was the first gift. Affirmation that serving Him is all that matters regardless of difficulty followed. What’s next?

I don’t know, my friend. But if you’ve served right, the rest is up to Him



Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-05-12T09:44:06-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/b9d84d43ae5c12396babd9d38b610be7-43.html#unique-entry-id-43http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/b9d84d43ae5c12396babd9d38b610be7-43.html#unique-entry-id-43Have you ever been blindsided by a disappointment while you were serving, moving forward, and seeing God at work? This ministry is not yet 4 years old. Starting with a website to serve and encourage widows, we’re reaching out through radio, books, supporting churches and serving in Africa. We offer biblical encouragement to any one in hard circumstances. Gods blessing has been larger than our efforts. And then a seemingly great partner project imploded. I reached out to my mentoring friend for advice. He opened his worn Bible to I Corinthians 16: 9 and read Paul’s words. 9 a great door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many who oppose me. “ He looked at me intently and said quietly, “Expect more.”

Great challenges prove that theres a great door for effective work.



Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-29T17:09:40-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/2523fa74747b990cc4168b050d49eacd-34.html#unique-entry-id-34http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/2523fa74747b990cc4168b050d49eacd-34.html#unique-entry-id-34Don’t believe everything you think! Our brain has a ‘normalcy bias.’ We think the future will be what we believe, often based on the past. History is full of ‘normalcy bias’ that was tragic.

In 1935 Hitler’s plans were emerging and he was acting on those plans. 100,000 jews left one city. 450,000 stayed behind. With Hurricane Katrina powering toward New Orleans, people were told that the levy’s would fail. Many didn’t believe it and stayed. The human mind refuses to take in new information because we’ve never seen anything like it in our life time.

We like normal. We don’t know what change will bring. So we believe what we think. Romans 12: 1,2 addresses this right on. Don’t be conformed. Let your mindset be Christ like. That’s transformation.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-28T17:09:02-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/c0d054804f279a99c38f32a041ff4ec6-33.html#unique-entry-id-33http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/c0d054804f279a99c38f32a041ff4ec6-33.html#unique-entry-id-33We don’t usually think of elephants as quick learners and wise. Dolphins and owls come to mind. But recently elephants have been placed in some complex situations to determine how quickly they learned.

Food rewards were placed on a platform on the ground connected to a rope. The elephants were behind the fence. Two had to drag the two ends of the rope at the same time to drag the platform under the fence. They learned to work together. Variations proved that the elephants quickly learned the new challenge. If one was late, the other waited before pulling his side.

Married couples take notice. You can learn to pull together. You can quickly relearn when faced with a new challenge. Like babies and shifting budgets. Challenges will come. Learn quick and learn together.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-27T17:08:22-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/3f117dc5240bc1535eb5c788bc1de69b-32.html#unique-entry-id-32http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/3f117dc5240bc1535eb5c788bc1de69b-32.html#unique-entry-id-32The problem you are facing today will change you. I thought after my husband’s wicked terminal disease, I would return to being the person I was before. During the disease I had to be a tough advocate, won’t take ‘No’ for this medical necessity, “I’ve read the fine print here and this is what you will do.” I asked the clinic social worker, “Will I be nice again when this is over?”

“No you won’t,” was her answer. “You’ll never be the same.”

She was right, and for good reason. God had an assignment ahead that required that I get into action in the unknown.

It has been said that the hottest fires make the hardest steel. I needed that hot fire to equip me. That may be true for you too.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-26T17:07:34-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/86fe9943aab16a85c9e5e41b1808db13-31.html#unique-entry-id-31http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/86fe9943aab16a85c9e5e41b1808db13-31.html#unique-entry-id-31I’ve loved reading the Financial Times newspaper every morning until recently. The news of unrest in countries is not new. The brutality perhaps is not worse than before, just more photographed and politicized. Given that a wave seems to be sweeping across Northern Africa, I remember the faces of the young, poor widows we are trying to reach with sewing skills. We tell them of our biblical faith, our basis for helping them. Will we reach them? Factions and their different belief systems are definitely playing in to the chaos.

And we don’t know the outcome.

What we do know is that one organization reported there were 200,000 downloads of the Bible in Arabic in 2010. That’s better news than I’ve read anywhere. The final outcome is recorded there. Lets be ready.



Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-25T17:04:06-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/485ac29e8dea8bbae876d7173d02ae90-30.html#unique-entry-id-30http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/485ac29e8dea8bbae876d7173d02ae90-30.html#unique-entry-id-30We ate strange things on the farm--not because we preferred them, but because we could only eat what we had. Fried green tomatoes were OK, green grape pie, not so much. Vinegar pie? You just could not pretend it was lemon pie.

I recently sampled yet another new strange food: fried pickles. Why take a tasty, chilled crisp flavorful cucumber and fry it? Because people like to try new things.

If you are searching for something different in your life, pick up a Bible and start reading. Psalm 34:8 says, “Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.”

You won’t be disappointed by a substitute, leftovers, or a ‘make do’ recipe for life. You’ll discover “Real good.”



Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-22T10:17:34-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/979793d9c7c9b96dba4d9d27f7aa67fb-29.html#unique-entry-id-29http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/979793d9c7c9b96dba4d9d27f7aa67fb-29.html#unique-entry-id-29Israel is tiny in miles, but mighty in the world political scene. Typically surrounded by those not so fond of them, skirmishes threaten wars, and onlookers are amazed at their influence.

They have a motto: “In Israel, we don’t just believe in miracles, we depend on them.” I’ve seen that in my lifetime and read of the tiny piece of land and its 4000 year history. The 6 day war in 1967 is ordinary when viewed through the miracles in the pages of both the Old and the New Testament. No wonder Israel expects them.

Depending on God’s miracles is a faith filled perspective. We all need the reminder however, that God is not obligated to come through as we wish. Miracle or no miracle, depending on him is the right thing to do.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-21T10:17:00-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/9f79d277ed8e166d5a44f1f036641bf1-28.html#unique-entry-id-28http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/9f79d277ed8e166d5a44f1f036641bf1-28.html#unique-entry-id-28I’m learning about expansion from my mentor. He used the analogy to pick the right people to get on our bus. Are they all out for this mission? Do they get the James 1:27 mandate? Are they in the right seat? Do their skill sets match their job description? If they’re on and its not working, they need to get off sooner rather than later. Why is this good advice that works? Because its biblical.

Jesus team was intentionally selected. Others wanted to follow but didn’t embrace his whole mission. And he hibernated alone with God in prayer before picking his people. God selected Moses knowing his weaknesses and strengths. The discomfort of growth is balanced by the reality that its his mandate, his ministry, I may be the driver, but he’s the engine.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-20T10:16:28-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/84cdb046b89c5282bd71554dea0d32ef-27.html#unique-entry-id-27http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/84cdb046b89c5282bd71554dea0d32ef-27.html#unique-entry-id-27Our vision to help widows has propelled Widow Connection on a growth curve. I’m surprised, but shouldn’t be. When God gives us not only an assignment, but a passion for one of His causes, things happen. I’m learning about how to grow an organization wisely. A mentor recently advised me to make sure we get the right people on the bus. Some folks will do great on another bus, not ours. He followed that the person needs to be in the right seat. Seats marked ‘technical,’ ‘creative,’ ‘visionary,’ ‘detail oriented,’ need people wired up with those different gifts. Right person in wrong seat is still a disaster. His final reminder: sometimes people need to get off the bus--sooner rather than later.

Good advice for any leader.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-19T10:15:45-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/36625f252b8b1c5fd23912485e9fe768-26.html#unique-entry-id-26http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/36625f252b8b1c5fd23912485e9fe768-26.html#unique-entry-id-26There is no greater sorrow than regret. I recently was told by a broadcaster that he regretted not getting to know my husband, Bob better, though they interacted through a common organization. I was sorry for him. But there are no ‘do overs.’ Those of us who have stared death in the face have a distinct benefit after our precious person leaves this planet. We realize the value of the moment. The treasure of a shared look of intimacy, the richness of a conversation that cannot be replicated with another soul, no matter how similar they are to the one we lost.

So how is this relevant to you today, my friend? Remember that most arguments are not worth the swapped spit. Critical words on your tung? Hit the mute button. No regrets.



Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-18T10:14:25-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/0eade33b2ccea6241beb8d7209fcc55c-25.html#unique-entry-id-25http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/0eade33b2ccea6241beb8d7209fcc55c-25.html#unique-entry-id-25I recently listened to intriguing new discoveries in Israel of archeological proof of events, people, and their cultures in Old Testament times. Research is both time consuming and expensive, so archeologists attempt to be more efficient by intelligent assessments of where to dig. Their resource? The Bible is the GPS of the Middle East.

If this book is so dependable for the realities of history, why should it not be trusted for reality in the realm of faith and the future? It seems to me that one must do mental gymnastics to trust its history, confirming those facts with evidence today, and turn a blind eye and deaf ear to its wisdom for today and prognosis for the future. Its worthy to be claimed as the GPS of your life. Claim it. I do.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-15T12:39:58-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/c09b5b68c9bdf1cc1aaea2e31c1a0138-24.html#unique-entry-id-24http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/c09b5b68c9bdf1cc1aaea2e31c1a0138-24.html#unique-entry-id-24I recently faced a disappointment and a challenge. A project I thought would be helpful collapsed. It wasn’t mine, but I saw its value. I had invested energy and precious time. What was I to do? I asked God; my praying friends advised. We pondered, ‘what does God’s green light look like?’ Should this organization create this? I turned to Philippians 4:8 for starters. God’s green light is based on truth, honor, justice, purity. He says think about it. Is your desire to promote what I value? Check these things first.

Then He adds, will it be pleasing and commend others to Himself? Pleasing is not just when the project is good, but my attitude is right too. Then do these things! God’s green light is pretty clear.

Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-14T12:39:04-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/9f10578ee7045ba36bbae1c74a550268-23.html#unique-entry-id-23http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/9f10578ee7045ba36bbae1c74a550268-23.html#unique-entry-id-23A competitor in a singing competition wanted to stand out from the crowd. The voices are all great, so what could he do? He spent $4,500.00 on one outfit! He says he broke his own bank. It paid off in publicity. Boy did he get attention! Priceless.

I was reading today what I’m supposed to be wearing. You and I are in competition too. Ephesians 6 tells us we’re on assignment to live Christ honoring lives and the competition is beyond us. Read Ephesians 6:12 and you’ll see what we’re up against.

God has an outfit for us: truth, faith, salvation, the Holy Spirit. He describes exactly what to put on and the way to wear it. Our price: free! It cost Jesus his life, but guarantees we’ll beat the competition.

Value: Priceless.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-13T12:37:34-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/f29d99dec051bd1340bd38c02f5224ce-22.html#unique-entry-id-22http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/f29d99dec051bd1340bd38c02f5224ce-22.html#unique-entry-id-22Recent news focused on unrest and chaos in more countries. As usual, some voices were saying, the United States should do this, our military should do that. But indications are that we are tired. Our country, the people and our leaders are suffering from intervention fatigue. It’s one thing to invest resources protecting our folks here. Its another to sacrifice for unknown outcomes in unknown places.

I wonder how God sees all this. On a personal level, he sees the chaos in your life today. He sees the messes I create for myself. And He never suffers from ‘intervention fatigue.’ He is always ready to step in any time we ask, even in a whisper. He has solutions beyond our imagination.

He’s ready with a plan, just ask.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-12T12:36:49-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/43fb9f71d0e1dbfa28feb6fd6b2c1753-21.html#unique-entry-id-21http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/43fb9f71d0e1dbfa28feb6fd6b2c1753-21.html#unique-entry-id-21I recently experienced a quick smack to my human reaction of a mistake someone made. But God, I whined, the outcome could have been better! (i.e. from my perspective) I needed a quick smack. I was focused on what Miriam wanted. God’s very blunt and quick reminder to me was. “Its just your job to show up. The results of any of your efforts have nothing to do with you. That’s my job.” Scripture came to mind of the many times the tiny phrase, “But God,” appears. His line in the sand separates how we see things, what’s coming down and going wrong, and the BUT GOD factor. Ephesians 2:4 “But God who is rich in mercy,” loving us when we’re unloveable, giving us positions and opportunities we don’t deserve. Thank God.

Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-11T12:33:18-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/dd603792576e7c851fc2929b9f40210c-20.html#unique-entry-id-20http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/dd603792576e7c851fc2929b9f40210c-20.html#unique-entry-id-20You are richer than you think. You are stronger than you feel. How do I know? There are two very powerful words in Scripture. “But God.” 60 times this short phrase reminds us that things are not as they seem. Psalm 9:18 God sees your need that is invisible to all others. Psalm 73:26 Our strength is small, but God is BIG. Acts 7:9 Joseph was sold as a slave, BUT GOD was with him and had other plans.

Lay your problem out, put your hopeless situation on the table and say, “But God, what do you see here? What is your view? What should I be thinking? What are your words of instruction? Everything changes, but God.
He has bigger plans, better solutions and more resources.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-03-31T11:29:11-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/4338ea9a202ac2770e8d5ec381a68efe-19.html#unique-entry-id-19http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/4338ea9a202ac2770e8d5ec381a68efe-19.html#unique-entry-id-19
Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-03-30T11:28:39-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/3c7c4b23341c030afa4f1537ffb65c75-18.html#unique-entry-id-18http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/3c7c4b23341c030afa4f1537ffb65c75-18.html#unique-entry-id-18

Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-08T11:27:38-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/349ef50d2868b2de2bd9adbe5a7e2079-17.html#unique-entry-id-17http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/349ef50d2868b2de2bd9adbe5a7e2079-17.html#unique-entry-id-17Do your circumstances today just not make sense? Your goals and what you want to accomplish don’t match the mundane restrictions of your real life today? The apostle Paul had the same problem. In Ephesians 6: 20 he describes himself as an ‘ambassador in chains.‘ Wait a minute. Ambassadors are people who travel. They ‘represent’ in different locations. And they live in lovely places. Ambassador residences I’ve seen around the world are usually beautiful, protected, and divine.

Paul was in chains--going nowhere. He was likely in a dungeon or if on house arrest, not in the most specious of places. “Ambassador in chains.”

But he was effective exactly in those circumstances. He wrote 24% of the New Testament there.

Take heart, my friend. Do what you can where you are.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-07T11:26:53-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/175d3e6ef3c19cbad88d2406a6841e1a-16.html#unique-entry-id-16http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/175d3e6ef3c19cbad88d2406a6841e1a-16.html#unique-entry-id-16I met her in Burkina Faso, a beautiful young widow with 3 little boys to raise. Her husband asked his doctor to write two death certificates: one for his wife that stated he died of cancer, and one that stated the truth, that he died of AIDS. Facts are stubborn things (John Adams quote). The truth is not always comforting. She had a right to the facts as she faced forward. I met her again two years later. Thankfully she is healthy, and has a job at a mission school. Her teen age sons are in that school. God has smiled on her and she shows it.

Its human to try to cover or sins, errors, and just mistakes. Then we needn’t ask forgiveness or make restitution. But thats not God’s way.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-06T11:26:20-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/66c51d7580c8710a3846f04dac321c25-15.html#unique-entry-id-15http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/66c51d7580c8710a3846f04dac321c25-15.html#unique-entry-id-15Manuals for leaders outline what they need for success in their organization. Example: ‘stick to the knitting,’ in other words focus on your core mission.

‘Don’t get too far in front of the army. You’ll be mistaken for the enemy.’ In other words keep your people loyally near you, engaged in the process of getting things done.

It may be said, but its seldom followed that leaders need to listen. Not just to their inner circle of likeminded people, but that person whose back is to you on the elevator, that person who uses the product you are offering, that person who needs the ministry you’re putting out there.

For specific examples, read how Jesus interacted with people. Usually he started with a question. And then He listened.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-05T11:25:41-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/be5676cd8640a5fdc766b6b8c7f9cad3-14.html#unique-entry-id-14http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/be5676cd8640a5fdc766b6b8c7f9cad3-14.html#unique-entry-id-14Leaders have special challenges. I know. I was married to one. I watched him--a big picture man with vision who still saw that details didn’t mess up the vision. Many gifted leaders start strong in the Spirit, as Galatians describes them, and then move on in the flesh. We have all seen those leaders. What trips them up? The very gifts God gave them to enable them to lead become their downfall. They begin to think its all about THEM. Their communication skills, their power to influence, their creative ideas. They forget. They neither earned, deserved, nor crafted their gift. God did.

They may be a success on the outside, or they may tumble. Bob Neff lead as a servant hearted visionary leader. I’m thankful to have had a front row seat.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-04T11:23:23-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/142158cb1c5ea6790ec80d1145283f3c-13.html#unique-entry-id-13http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/142158cb1c5ea6790ec80d1145283f3c-13.html#unique-entry-id-13Wouldn’t you love to live like the giants of faith in Hebrews 11? I read of Abraham, Rahab, Joseph, and Noah. They raise the bar. They believed and acted without seeing. Moved not knowing where they were going, welcomed spies that could have meant death, talked of freedom while a slave, built a boat on dry ground. That’s ‘confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.’

Thankfully, God is fully of mercy and grace. He knew on our weak days our faith would need a face. Jesus was God’s answer--human--compassionate facing tax collectors, prostitutes, impulsive friends, even the thief dying next to him. God said to care for widows. Jesus showed us how providing for his widowed Mom when he was in death’s throws himself.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-04-01T11:17:55-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/9eebd55664d3004e976f05754bcd9301-12.html#unique-entry-id-12http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/9eebd55664d3004e976f05754bcd9301-12.html#unique-entry-id-12I know, I know. Faith is believing when we can’t SEE what God is doing. Hebrews 11 gives us 15 real life examples of people who exercised faith, believed and acted when they couldn’t see what was ahead. That’s how we should live!

But Scripture is full of paradoxes. God could have just told us how to live, written a book of instructions for us to read. But He knows us. And He gave us more. He put a face on faith and sent Jesus. We could watch, listen, know, see what real living is like for people who love God. There have been times in my life when faith needed a face. Injustice rolled down and won the day. Jesus being killed unjustly put a face on faith. We need that.


Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-03-14T19:10:12-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/2e5aca6036bbf3469640410b49eb782f-11.html#unique-entry-id-11http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/2e5aca6036bbf3469640410b49eb782f-11.html#unique-entry-id-11Parking spaces are a boring tiny piece of real estate owned by nobody.  Right?  Not if you’re a Chicago city dweller in snow time.  Home owners and renters shovel out their little square.  But before leaving that space they place dibs on it by parking lawn chairs, old baby cribs, dilapidated bookcases, any thing unsightly will do.  Attractive?  Don’t leave it there.  The weather will destroy it.  It might be damaged by a snow plow. 

This accepted Chicago tradition is being challenged.  An organization opposes it, but I think they’ll loose.  Tradition prevails here.  Thankfully saving parking spaces will be unnecessary in heaven.   Our bodies will move anywhere without cars, planes, and trains.  And all neighbors will not just get along.  If there’s snow there, we’ll be volunteering to help each other.
Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-03-15T19:09:54-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/9b61c17bf7c5471bcf51c957a5a343e0-10.html#unique-entry-id-10http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/9b61c17bf7c5471bcf51c957a5a343e0-10.html#unique-entry-id-10Surprising statistic:  Couples spend less than 5 minutes a day in uninterrupted conversation.  In happy relationships, couples have focused conversation 20--30 minutes.  Given this statistic, many marriages are stagnating at best or in trouble.  Its a fixable problem.  We’re in charge of our time.  24 hours is a generous chunk.   Is your marriage more important than the newspaper? an extra hour at work?  interaction with children?  shopping?   Of course, it is.  Start by noticing, keeping track, scheduling time, if need be. 

Walk and talk, sip coffee or tea and talk.  Watch a sunset and talk.  No Iphone in hand.  Focus, no multitasking.

Take this widow’s advice, you’ll not regret the hours you invest in each other.  Besides making memories, you’ll preserve your marriage.  Just keep talking.
Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-03-16T19:09:38-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/119efb3c0b99a2c488dd8bfbe4cbf05c-9.html#unique-entry-id-9http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/119efb3c0b99a2c488dd8bfbe4cbf05c-9.html#unique-entry-id-9After your last breath on this earth, what will people remember?  An exercise guru who died at age 97 left a legacy of towing 70 boats from the Los Angeles harbor to a cruise ship 1.5 miles away--while he was handcuffed.  He swam from Alcatraz, the island prison, to San Francisco.  And then did it again in handcuffs towing a 1000 pound boat. 

Exercising our bodies is profitable but temporary.  Spiritual exercise more so.  Reading and praying are important disciplines.  They’re tested through service and sacrifice.  Thats when the handcuffs of disappointment go on, the sacrifice of fatigue sets in.  The intensity of our spiritual life is on full display. 

This physical shell eventually dies in spite of exercise.  Our spiritual investment prepares us for heaven.  And onlookers see what’s worth living for. 
Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-03-17T19:09:13-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/0eb759f3f37f82c4a0e35bd5f6b95c5d-8.html#unique-entry-id-8http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/0eb759f3f37f82c4a0e35bd5f6b95c5d-8.html#unique-entry-id-8The power of one.  Officials slapped a vegetable stand vendor in Tunisia and took his freedom to sell.  He’d had enough.  Dousing himself with fuel, he lit himself on fire and ignited protestors for freedom from Tunisia, to Egypt, to Jordan, to Yemen and beyond.

Like the shot heard round the world, this was the flame felt round the world.  Deep in the souls of repressed peoples, they took courage to stand up, speak back, and even strike back.  What will the outcome be?  We don’t know.

We do know  God is no respecter of persons.  No one is greater, more equal, more deserving of wealth, respect, or this earth’s resources.   We do know that the capability of human cruelty is limitless.  We know that only peace with God will bring peace on earth. 
Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-03-18T19:08:43-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/d6d834d47ce4f4a03f8f6c0245ca38d5-7.html#unique-entry-id-7http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/d6d834d47ce4f4a03f8f6c0245ca38d5-7.html#unique-entry-id-7Clear mandates guide our behavior.  James 1: 27 states that people of faith demonstrate that by caring for orphans and widows.  We get that.  But implementing the mandate is not so easy.  Since our average age is about 55 for every ‘vintage’ widow responsible just for herself, there is a younger one with dependent children.  I prayed with a beautiful young widow last Sunday.  Her income from her new full time job is not enough to support herself and three children and pay the mortgage.  Her home is on the market.  Nobody’s bidding.

Life gets complicated.  Churches have limited resources as well.  While I don’t have a concrete solution, I do know that providing a group where we meet, pray, and share each other’s burdens helps.
Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-03-21T19:08:21-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/519e04d70960df8acb95abf58063cf37-6.html#unique-entry-id-6http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/519e04d70960df8acb95abf58063cf37-6.html#unique-entry-id-6Whose willing to wait 45 minutes for a hair cut?   Not many.  I decided to, and spent the time reading about entrepreneur business start ups--an article not available in my reading pile at home. 

The reward for the wait was meeting a young woman from Burma.  She was thrilled to be working without lunch breaks, on her feet all day, and positive about her more than  hour commute to work!  She described the favorite dishes she cooks here--spicy requiring lots of chopping.  Calculating her life and family, I don’t think ‘spare time’ is plentiful. 

I was challenged by this unlikely meeting to tackle my work with more positive diligence, appreciate whatever tasks God assigns me to do.  Accomplish whatever my hands find to do with all my heart, as unto the Lord. 
Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-03-22T19:07:56-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/dff0b3730101e70442461668f4f0c3df-5.html#unique-entry-id-5http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/dff0b3730101e70442461668f4f0c3df-5.html#unique-entry-id-5One family in ten has an impaired child or adult bringing challenges beyond what most of us an imagine.   I watched as an impaired young adult and his mother accomplished the mundane task of getting a hair cut.  Patience was required by all.

I observed a swim instructor giving swimming lessons to an autistic child.  Much more than patience was demanded of this strong young lady refusing to give up on her student mastering a new skill.  Through outbursts and flailing, her grit prevailed.  Her young student began to trust the water and trust her.

What do we learn from this?  That life is precious.  That the character of the powerful is  on display in how we treat the weak.  And we remember that Jesus loved the ‘least of these.
Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-03-23T19:07:36-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/7f349368b68c7d608b0bd146e2d43eb3-4.html#unique-entry-id-4http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/7f349368b68c7d608b0bd146e2d43eb3-4.html#unique-entry-id-4Accurate predictions are big money.  Stock picks, inflation, deflation, employment, Johnny’s height, commodity costs.  Analysts make big money as do some weatherpersons, and hedge fund managers.  With this focus, wouldn’t you think more folks would not settle for the ‘hope’ for what happens after death.  Death is not a possibility, its a reality.  After death is certain.  So why not research, investigate, read the writings.  What happened to these leaders who spoke of what’s after death?  Buddha, M
M ohammed, Jesus? Why not compare the credibility of their claims, their followers?  Facing facts should not be a fearsome task. 

Analysts predictions, even accurate ones, are good for short windows, months, weeks, or hours.  Eternity is forever.  Hope is not enough.  Examine the facts. Its decision time. 
Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-03-24T19:07:11-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/076fa74d2f7439f73dcfcb36b5940e9e-3.html#unique-entry-id-3http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/076fa74d2f7439f73dcfcb36b5940e9e-3.html#unique-entry-id-3Our world is full of uncertainties.  Leadership is always changing in some country.  Sometimes its catastrophic and violent.  Some events change just one town,  others rock the world.  9/11/2001 is a memorable world changing event.  We remember where we were, and how we heard the news that the twin towers and Pentagon were attacked. 

I hurried to our local bookstore, purchased a Koran, and investigated a belief system I had ignored.  Ten years later eruptions still happen.  Understanding the basis for the faith of others is worthwhile.  But this knowledge does not decrease uncertainties or prevent catastrophe.   One truth remains.   A day will come when every knee will bow to the one God, Creator of the universe, and Jesus our Protector and King.   That my friend is the source of our peace today.
Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-03-25T19:05:45-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/e0ce43831534b1551d03f1469ef33fe5-2.html#unique-entry-id-2http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/e0ce43831534b1551d03f1469ef33fe5-2.html#unique-entry-id-258 million children are in foster care in China.  Why?  Most have parents who are healthy and working.  These parents are capable of parenting, but have decided they can’t afford to.  Many moved to cities to get jobs.  Babies came with or stayed back with grandparents.  But attending junior high with its barriers and cost meant neither parents or grandparents could supply education. 

Foster homes have become the solution.  With several children in dorm like rooms, friends become family. Parents working many hours away with little freedom to travel have not seen their children in years.  When they do, they have little in common, except possibly a  shared dimple, or similar smile.

What will be the outcome?  We don’t know. We can pray that somehow these 58 million children come to know intimately their heavenly father. 
Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-03-28T11:40:00-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/868179cf21a0586cf0c6cc174be71a40-1.html#unique-entry-id-1http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/868179cf21a0586cf0c6cc174be71a40-1.html#unique-entry-id-1Twenty percent of China’s children live in foster care.  They share dorm rooms with other children, six or eight to a room and attend school.  Parents of 58 million children made this decision believing it is the best choice available.  Rather than being neglectful parents, they have moved to cities to find work for better wages. 

They lack freedom of choice to take weekends off to visit their children.  Many live in dorm like conditions as well, and could not afford to pay for education for their child in their new city. 

What would Jesus say?  We know his first priority is for children to come to Him.  While parent child connections are important, and educational opportunity is valuable, spiritual connection to their heavenly father is all that will count in the long run.
Podcast]]>miriam@widowconnection.comWidow Connection2011-03-29T19:23:23-05:00http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/396e29b995995e703c9644a33bfeae74-0.html#unique-entry-id-0http://www.widowconnection.com/NB/NB/nbp_files/396e29b995995e703c9644a33bfeae74-0.html#unique-entry-id-0Wiki leaks are now a part of our regular news.  Comments of government leaders, state department officials, and military strategists are public information.  Much to the shock and dismay of many quoted, not all behavior was golden.

Christians need to have a heads up here.  All of our thoughts and behavior will be publicly revealed one day. I Corinthians 3.   Ministry leaders motivations, secret severance agreements, maneuvers for position or power, believers are human and subject to sin.  That day of revelation need not be tough.  There are four solutions:  ask God to reveal to us personally harm we have done: personally and corporately.  He will.  Next, humbly admit those sins.  Human nature is to defend and deny, not agree with God.   Genuine requests for forgiveness must follow with restitution where possible.
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